About the Author
Patti cultivates homegrown changemakers prepared to step into their power and work with others to create the world they want to live in. Get in touch to find out how you can grow the social changemaker in yourself and those you serve with Blue Roads Changemaker YOU.
Where does a person's potential begin as a changemaker? Changemaker Emmalou Penrod knows, it usually starts with the family unit.
In this rich conversation, Emmalou examines how her upbringing catapulted her forward and now helps parents learn the skills, including emotional regulation, so they are equipped to share their tools to help their children grow.
In this episode of “On Your Own Terms,” Emmalou shares her “Homegrown Solutions for a Patchwork World”. Watch the video of our conversation, listen to the podcast, and read the summary here!
Homegrown Emmalou
Emmalou was raised by two educated, compassionate parents who were very involved in her life. Her father was a veterinarian and worked for the Department of Agriculture. Her mother was college-educated and loved working with numbers but did her work from home so she could care for the children.
She enjoyed doing income tax returns and would work on them while the children were in school. Her father's job took the family to live in a number of different places including Arizona, Colorado, Utah, Virginia, Maryland, and California. This exposure gave her a natural curiosity about different places.
I loved seeing different parts of the country, especially living in Maryland. The Smithsonian was just an hour's drive away!
Growing up, Emmalou was greatly influenced by the deep relationship between her parents. She observed their communication and treatment towards one another. They were always respectful, even during disagreements. Her father often praised her mother, setting a strong example of womanhood for Emmalou.
Solution-Focused Emmalou
The solutions I want to offer are ways we can strengthen families. Perhaps because I loved my family of origin and I saw how it shaped me, I want to help other families.
Looking back, Emmalou sees how her upbringing has been powerful in her journey as a Changemaker. She emphasizes that education begins at home, and parents play a crucial role in shaping their child's subconscious mind.
She acknowledges the challenges modern parents face and recognizes the unrealistic expectations placed on them. With so many forces pulling at parents today, it is easy for them to get bogged down with criticisms and have their efforts ignored.
We've all heard the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.”
Emmalou encourages us to adjust that.
I like to modify that saying to… ‘It takes a village to support the parents so the parents can raise their child.'
Emmalou spent 24 years as a school teacher, 23 of which were in special education. She learned the importance of parental involvement in a child's education and encourages parents to take an active role. She emphasizes the importance of teachers listening to parents.
From her observations, no one understands their kids better than the parents do. The parents know the child’s strengths, weaknesses, and motivations. For this reason, Emmalou also strongly encourages parents to volunteer at their child’s school.
Emmalou believes parents should be free to explore different educational options (public, charter, private schools, co-ops, homeschooling) based on their child's needs and family structure. She also believes that parents under financial constraints and in emotional distress should be supported to find the help they need. Except in extreme cases of abuse and neglect, research shows that children fare better when they stay with their family of origin. This can happen when extended family and community resources are leveraged to help a struggling family turn things around.
Emmalou's Patchwork
Parenting is a universal facet of life regardless of culture, background or socioeconomic status. Emmalou acknowledges the diversity of family experiences and emphasizes the importance of understanding and validating those different upbringings while maintaining that children deserve the opportunity to grow up in a nurturing environment no matter what the situation.
You can't teach your children to believe in themselves if you don't believe in yourself and teach your children how to manage their emotions if you haven't learned how to manage yours.
Emmalou offers an online class called “Use Your Emotions Rather than Let Your Emotions Use You,” based on the book Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. She also recommends the book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, by John Gottman, PhD.
Emmalou believes in harnessing the energy of emotions to reach goals. Even though anger is an uncomfortable emotion, it can be leveraged to motivate needed action and right wrongs in society.
Anger can propel us to join a mob, pick up bricks and start throwing through windows. Or we can choose to write letters to elected officials to participate in activities that are helping to right this wrong that we see.
It's important for parents to start with themselves, and that's where I like to start.
Emmalou's program starts with an assessment to understand the current state of family life. As Emmalou aptly puts it,
We don't need to be afraid of our emotions. We just need to learn from them and wisely choose the action that will bring us the result we want.
She helps parents understand that children often communicate their feelings through behavior, especially when they lack the verbal skills to express themselves. She emphasizes the importance of unconditional love and the the recognition that misbehavior is often a cry for help.
At the toddler stage, parents can earn their child's trust and lay a strong foundation for the future. As children grow older, parents need to gradually let them do more on their own while standing strong as a trusted mentor, especially during the challenging teenage years.
Changemaker Emmalou
What would happen if every child had the opportunity to be part of a family that nurtured them, loved them, taught them values, and prepared them to become a self-reliant adult who gave back to society? Picture this: Dropping a pebble in the water and just watching it move out. Can you see how neighborhoods would change? Nations would change...?
In this way, Emmalou believes internalized equality and the value of every human life would lead us to higher integrity, reduced corruption and crime, and, ultimately, world peace.
For Emmalou, strong families are at the core of making these changes happen.
Healthy families are critical to healthy communities, making Emmalou's efforts vital to advancing the sustainable development goals.
Healthy emotions are powerful tools to bring about the realization of Goal #10 – Reduced Inequalities, Goal #11 – Sustainable Cities and Communities, and Goal #16 – Peace, Justice, and Strong Institutions.
These big impacts will also ripple out and advance goals like Goal #1 – No Poverty, Goal #3 – Good Health and Well-Being, and Goal #4 – Quality Education.
Do get in touch to let us know what YOU and people you know are doing to realize these Global Goals by the year 2030. We can sure do it if we all work together and take our place as Changemakers!
CHECK OUT our CHANGEMAKER YOU course to help you get started today!
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Patti cultivates homegrown changemakers prepared to step into their power and work with others to create the world they want to live in. Get in touch to find out how you can grow the social changemaker in yourself and those you serve with Blue Roads Changemaker YOU.
